I’ve been pondering going back to work again full-time. Just feeling as though being a stay-at-home Mom most days isn’t working for me anymore. But, it’s still a thought to ponder – a very important, needing to be well thought out – thought.
Well, today I met with a psychiatrist about getting back onto some type of medication for my General & social anxiety and also my depression. This woman does not have a very warm personality – or have any of the psychiatrists i’ve met. She easily prescribes – which is a bit scary. She was not at all interested in my final results of my ADD Assessment. She is from a different clinic than my psychologist and I don’t know if she agrees with all of the testing that I had done, but we both agreed that even though I exercise regularly and eat right – it’s still not enough to keep my anxiety/depression at bay. I will continue to exercise and eat well, but I think I also need a little boost. I have to admit, I am not happy about having to go on any type of medication for mental health reasons, but a part of me is also relieved that I don’t have to battle this all alone. I think I’ve been anxious and depressed at least most of my adult life… and I’m soooo tired of it.
So – today I’ve decided my new full-time job is taking good care of myself. Why is it so hard as a Mom to put yourself first? I don’t know. I just know that it’s been a long time coming for me. My husband told me last night that I need to do this – he even said “If I look stressed or cranky about you leaving to go for a run, just remind me that you need it to stay healthy (mentally & physically)”. He knows how I am when i don’t get my exercise. My head could start spinning at any moment – remember the movie Exorcist? Yikes!
I am also starting a beginning ceramics class one night a week through our local community education and I can’t wait! It will be my night away – something just for me.
Why can’t life just be easy? Happy and carefree with no drugs involved?
